oh f*** it.

So its the 5th of January 2016.


How much weight have i lost? Nothing
Im still fat.
I still have no energy.
I still feel like a slug.
And I just want to give up.
Everything in me is saying to just quit... Walk away now and don't even bother anymore. I have lost all my motivation to go to the gym.. why? because i hate going by myself. And because busting my ass in the gym has gotten me NO DAMN RESULTS.
i do everything on my own.
Im home all day.... alone
I go to and from school to get kids.. alone

I don't make friends easy because I just end up hurt... so I am skeptical of everyone...
I feel like i am sinking into this deep dark nasty hole and Im ready to just let go.

I hate this feeling.

Im not depressed... I know I have SAD.. but this is just feeling lonely, isolated, cut off.... I dont fit in anywhere so why bother trying? I dont "fit" with the cute moms at school....

Im just so done.


*sigh*
Im not writing this to get attention... Im writing this so that if there is someone else feeling like this, you know you are not alone. It will pass... it will get better.. cuz honey it cant get worse then feeling like this.